Yep, detention. Another staple of high school. I’ve been in detention for excessive tardies before, but I think I had a funnier reason for being in this time.
You see, last Thursday I called in sick due to lack of giving a fuck. So when I actually came to school on Friday, I had shit to make up. I had a test in Honor’s English that I hadn’t studied for, since Thursday was the in-class review/discussion of the book we’d just read. (Merchant of Venice – Shakespeare)
Well when I got to English, I saw we had a substitute teacher.
And a plot formed in my head.
(At my school, 4th hour is lunch hour. I have English 4th hour. We have a lot of students in our school, so we have three lunches at three half-hour intervals over the hour and a half that is 4th hour. Kids with First Lunch go right to lunch after 3rd hour, then go to their 4th hour class. Kids with Third Lunch go to their class right after 3rd hour, then eat after an hour of class, and proceed to 5th hour. I have Second Lunch. The way that Second Lunch works is that I go right to 4th hour after 3rd, and have a half hour of class. After that half hour, I go to lunch for a half hour. I then go back to class and finish the second half of the
hour. I like second lunch because it really breaks up the hour and makes it seem shorter.)
Anyway, since we had a test that day, we were going to take Third Lunch so that no one would exchange answers at lunch or some shit.
But I had no intention of taking the test.
I explained to the old lady Sub that since I had been gone on the review day, I shouldn’t take the test. After a bit of haggling she believed me, and then had no clue what to do with a kid who wasn’t taking the test. She handed out the tests to all of the other kids in the room, and told me to just go out in the hallway and work on homework from my other classes, and that we’d be taking Third Lunch.
So I was successfully out of the room.
Now it was all too easy. I waited outside the hall and finished my math homework for five minutes (this is all during First Lunch, about 15 minutes in) to make sure she wouldn’t look outside for me. After I determined that the coast was clear, I ran my ass off to lunch and took all three lunches.I wasn’t spotted by any teachers in lunch, and got away with it for the most part.
Except when my teacher flipped shit and gave me detention on Monday. Apparently the Sub thought that I had been kidnapped/abducted (inside the school? The fuck?), so she flipped out and had a total breakdown looking for me until someone suggested that maybe I’d just left, which brought on a fit of rage, resulting in her writing a very pissed-off note to my teacher.
So I ended up with two hours of detention, the most I’ve ever had for one offense. Everyone found it hilarious except for my parents. Weird.
So was this worth it? I’d say yes. It’s definitely a good, funny story to recount, and fucking with subs is always fun.