So I basically sorted out my angsty teenager bullshit. Katie decided not to give a fuck about Mary, so now we’re all happy. Fuck the police.
But now, if I may introduce to you…
Yes, Mr. Mask.
Mr. Mask has been spray painted to have fake burns, and lit aflame with fire to have real burns.
You see, I was at lunch the other day, and had a plate, Sharpie, and pocketknife on hand. I drew a face on the Styrofoam plate out of boredom, then had the idea to cut out the mouth so I could stick my tongue out of it and lick my friends’ faces when they least expect it.
But then I had an accidental epiphany. I spoke in my deep, gravely “Batman voice” (which sounds like a chain-smoking bear, so just like Christian Bale as Batman!) and had an idea:
Mr. Mask would be a masked vigilante. Jokingly, of course. See, most people hated the mask, so it was constantly torn up, and I would staple and tape it back together, because it made it look fucking creepy, which I find hilarious. As you can see, I look like a goddamn serial killer.
The extent of my ‘actions of justice’ included eating lunch through my mouth hole, telling 12 year old girls on the bus to beware rapists as they walk home, and then laughing maniacally as they run away terrified (and sometimes crying), and saying,”Move along, citizen.” Every time someone looked at me like I was on meth.
Most of my teachers hated Mr. Mask. I was usually told to remove the mask, and if the assistant principal saw me, he’d yell for me to take it off.
Well, today he fucking took my mask.
I was running laps through the hallways with my Spanish class (it was for the class) while wearing Mr. Mask. Principal Asshole saw me, and shouted at me to stop. I did, and he demanded that I hand him the mask. I sadly complied, and gave it to him. I silently trailed him for a little while to see where he’d throw it away, but he was smart. He held on to it.
So now that Mr. Mask is gone, the only other mask in the school is my sidekick, Mask-Boy. Kelan made a mask too, it’s the shit.
I’ve made a Facebook page urging everyone in my school to make a mask and wear it, and by the number of people liking the page, I think we could have a league of masked vigilantes walking these halls.
I look forward to this.
I must now continue to make my new mask, one which will never die.
Move along, citizen.